This has happened in our family. Children want to buy jelly to eat, every time they go to the supermarket, I only meet it occasionally, but I don't always meet it. Because eating that won't do you any good. But a few times after school, my girl would go to Mill Grandpa to buy it. Grandpa couldn't help the children to grind it, so he bought it. However, our grandfather has one thing that is good. He won't buy it secretly. After buying it, he will tell me when I pick up the children. This is better for me. At least let the children feel that grandpa and mom are on the same side. Although Grandpa bought it, he didn't buy it secretly, but he also wanted his mother to report it. This way, the next time the child will not always ask for it next time.

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　　Hello, subject, I'm glad to answer your question.

　　This phenomenon is actually a typical case in the upbringing of two generations. When parents are raising their children, they will make demands on him and cultivate his regularity. However, grandparents sometimes carry their parents' backs to meet their children's reasonable and unreasonable wishes that are not allowed by their parents, which will lead to the failure of parents' education of their children and cause contradictions between the two sides. Grandparents think this is a sign of loving their children, but little do they know that this is a doting on their children!

　　Parenting by generations, two generations of parents have great differences in living habits and growing environment, which will also exert a subtle influence on their children in the process of taking care of them. When the children are in this environment, they are actually very smart, and they will soon find that they can get the satisfaction they have not got from their parents, but they can get it from their grandparents. In the long run, children may learn to lie and shirk their responsibilities.

　　So what should we do in the face of this situation?

　　Family education is very important, and the high unification of education methods is the key point. I hope it can help you.

　　Good wishes!

　　The above content is original for Hansi Psychology, please contact us for reprinting!

　　Text: Gao Jing

　　Editor: Liu Ying

　　[Hansi Psychology]: Hansi spent thirteen years focusing on psychology.

　　This is a problem that many families will encounter. In order to make up for the shortcomings of being too strict with their children, grandparents put all their love on their grandchildren, which is manifested in asking the stars not to give the moon.

　　But this will not happen in our family. When the children were younger, we held a family meeting and communicated with grandparents. We bought all the toys and snacks they needed. They wanted to show their love and could give us money. When playing with toys and eating snacks, we would say that grandparents bought them. They just have time to take their children to the park. At first, they didn't agree. After a long time, the children developed good habits and stuck to them, so they were relieved.

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　　I still want toys that my parents can't satisfy, but my grandparents always secretly buy them for him. We can do this:

　　When this happens, the first thing for parents is to find their own parents to talk to him and tell him what the consequences are. And for the sake of children, I hope they can support their parents.

　　If the old people still don't listen, then parents should directly define their own rules, and don't let the old people buy them. If they let the old people buy them, they should be asked to live separately. But in this case, the old man's son will definitely not support it.

　　If there is such a situation, a woman can't communicate with her husband, and the old man won't listen, so she can only give up. Because they don't want their children to be good at all, you can't change the status quo by yourself.

　　When the mother is desperate, there is another way, that is, let the children know how to refuse. Although it sounds incredible, children are more obedient to adults, so in this case, we should ask children to refuse the elderly themselves.

　　However, some mothers say that I don't know how to say it, so you need to study by yourself, read more and communicate with better mothers. Only reading and continuous learning can change your "no".

　　First of all, as parents, we should understand that estrangement did not start from our parents and in-laws. Our grandparents or grandparents have never been estranged from us. All this is in love, but in the wrong way.

　　Secondly, let the old people know that you are grandparents, and we are parents. If you don't buy it for him, there will be reasons not to buy it for him. If the old people indulge blindly, it will be difficult for us to educate our children. Do you want to see the picture that we can't control our children?

　　Third, the crux of the problem lies in the child. If parents don't buy it, they go to their grandparents. It's really a good way that works time and again. However, be careful. When the child brings it to you for the first time, you should have an attitude and let the child know that it's not that I don't buy it for you, but that you can play with it if you find someone else to buy it. Confiscate it decisively and let him know that parents don't buy it for you because they are not distressed by money, but because there are legitimate reasons.