Thank you for inviting me. I am a man and have been married for more than twenty years. Quarrel about the cold war is a common occurrence, and it has never stopped. A few days to dozens of days. Every time I take the initiative to admit my mistake, I make up. It was not until 2022 that we had a cold war for nearly two years because of one thing. The long cold war damaged my patience, and I finally broke out and divorced her. People's patience is limited. How tired it is to live with a strong, ungrateful and reasonable woman! You know what you're going through.

　　She doesn't go out to work, but she is still bossing around at home, making trouble. I cook meals, I wash clothes, I earn money, and we don't sleep together. Why do you think I want to fuck her? Is there a lack of work at home, mom, and leadership?

　　After the divorce, I finally lived a normal life. Now live a chic life. The past is unbearable. I want to live for myself and live wonderfully. The most important thing is that my daughter also supports me and agrees to my divorce.

　　·

　　It is the worst thing that a quarrel between husband and wife eventually develops into a cold war. The topic said that the Cold War lasted for 15 days. I experienced the Cold War for three days, and I couldn't stand it anymore, so I was close to collapse. I believe that people who have experienced the torture of the cold war must have a deep understanding. Today, I will talk to you about the problem of "the cold war in marriage".

　　When you feel helpless in a quarrel, you will choose to avoid the confrontation and adopt the strategy of retreat to deal with the temporary troubles. This can't solve the problem, but at least for the time being, it can no longer be "attacked" by the other side.

　　Sometimes this will cause the other party to be more dissatisfied and further strengthen the "attack" of language, but because the response to this has been closed in the heart, it is equivalent to isolating the stimulus from the other party, so it will no longer feel hurt. From this point of view, this is an emotional defense mechanism.

　　The cold war always happens when one or both sides have such a characteristic that they are not actively committed to solving problems, but hate conflicts. Even after he has calmed down, he will not choose to solve this problem because he is afraid of causing another conflict. This allowed the cold war to continue further.

　　We know that quarreling between husband and wife is always inevitable, but whether the problem is solved after quarreling determines the impact on long-term relations. The cold war after the quarrel is the worst result after dealing with the problem.

　　The biggest problem of the Cold War is that the door of communication between the two sides has been closed. Anger, sadness, expectation and joy can no longer be shared with each other, which will make one or both sides feel lonely, helpless and deeply disappointed.

　　The cold war caused a series of feelings of loss. I lost my enthusiasm for communication, my desire to get along with you, and my vision for the future. This sense of loss makes people lose their purpose in life. Therefore, the long-term cold war is often a prelude to the disintegration of intimate relationships (marriage, couples).

　　We often persuade others when they quarrel, so that both sides can calm down first. Sometimes temporary calm can stop mutual stimulation and avoid escalating conflicts. After the excitement of both sides has calmed down, we can face the differences rationally and the problem can be solved.

　　But the cold war we are talking about is different from being calm. Calm yourself down in the conflict, in order to face differences in a rational state and try to solve the problem. The cold war, on the other hand, cut off connections and refused to communicate and solve problems. Therefore, calmness is a positive measure to solve problems; The cold war is a negative measure and an escape from the problem.

　　The cold war is a silent confrontation. In rare cases, after the hostility between the two sides is reduced, the problem is put aside and the emotional connection is restored. But most of the cold war is a kind of destruction to emotion. The cold war is a process from anger to expectation and then to disappointment.

　　The first stage is anger. At this time, the mood is fierce and my heart is full of dissatisfaction with each other. But when gradually calm down, began to consider to solve the problem, expecting each other to take the initiative to communicate, this is the second stage. If you don't get your expected apology and communication at this stage, you will enter the third stage, which is disappointment. At this time, even if the other party takes some actions that are intended to ease, they are no longer willing to respond.

　　Let's see, if we want to break the cold war, at which stage should we be? In the first stage and the third stage, the connection cannot be established well. Only in the second stage is the best time to break the cold war. When we expect to be eased, it just happens to welcome the active connection of the other party, which will make things move towards a benign development.

　　Therefore, when we expect the relationship to ease, we might as well take the initiative to extend an olive branch instead of passively waiting for the other party to act. If both sides understand this, then calm will not turn into a cold war.

　　All in all, we talked about this for one purpose, that is, to recognize the benefits of the cold war between husband and wife and effectively avoid it. In fact, as long as the two sides have feelings and one side lowers its head slightly, things can turn to good development. How to do it, you can pay attention to me, and check out my article in "Husband and wife quarrel, must men apologize first?" The answer to this question will definitely help you better. （end）

　　I'm going through the cold war. Last year, my husband, emotional infidelity, just chatted with women. I chose to forgive him. I didn't stay at home for three days during the Chinese New Year this year, and went to meet the so-called classmates (all women) in the teahouse every day. This time, I can't bear it. I haven't spoken since the cold war on the sixth day of the Lunar New Year, and I was very similar at the beginning of the cold war, but now I want to leave for more than 20 days. I don't want to stick to my marriage for more than 20 years.

　　I think the cold war is the most horrible. If the cold war starts between husband and wife, the feelings will gradually fade. If my husband and I quarrel, the cold war will not last so long.

　　Well, because I am an irrepressible temper, I must quarrel with him. If you don't quarrel, you will feel very uncomfortable. I think quarreling is actually a kind of communication, and it is even more difficult to communicate in the cold war.

　　Living in a home and not talking for 15 days, I think it should be an embarrassing thing. How did you spend these 15 days? In fact, everyone should be unhappy in these 15 days. If there is a child, the child will think about what happened to my parents, which will affect the atmosphere of the whole family, and it will also have a bad influence on the children. I still don't recommend that the husband and wife quarrel in the cold war. Let's talk it over. I think that we usually let each other talk less, try not to quarrel, and then make up as soon as possible after quarreling, and don't have a cold war. Cold and cold feelings are all cold, and I feel uncomfortable.

　　It's okay. Who's going to experience this?

　　There are quarrels between husband and wife, and they may not want to talk after quarreling. This is a common occurrence in life. I think everyone is like this. Life is like a mother-in-law, and there must be a variation.

　　It is irrational for husband and wife to quarrel in the cold war. Or maybe the anger hasn't gone away. Calm down for a few days.

　　No one wants to experience the cold war between husband and wife.

　　Communication between husband and wife, loyalty between husband and wife,

　　There should be understanding between husband and wife, and tolerance between husband and wife.

　　Trust between husband and wife and sincerity between husband and wife.

　　Courtesy and respect should be shown between husband and wife.

　　Couples learn to look down on each other. There must be no sight between husband and wife.

　　Husband and wife should also learn to apologize for their mistakes.

　　Husband and wife quarrel and don't want to talk. The Cold War is not the way to solve contradictions. The cold war will give others opportunities, and someone will take the opportunity to seize your home in the cold war. If you are not afraid of others coming into your life, you will happily experience the taste of the cold war and accept its fruits.

　　We didn't have a cold war. We had dinner after quarreling.

　　Don't try to subdue anyone with the cold war. The cold war may be worse for itself.